Watch out, Michael Phelps

No, I don't mean to say that I'll ever win any sort of award for
swimming, Olympic or otherwise. I'm referring to all of the hype
regarding Mr. Phelps' diet during the Beijing Olympics last summer. All I have to say is that those people who were ooh-ing and aah-ing over the number of calories he consumed have never seen a cycle tourist eat.

Let's take yesterday as an example. I put in a "mere" 110 km (70
miles) on the bike yesterday, but that was still about 5.5 hours of
steady cycling (with some steep hills). Let's say I'm burning 500
calories per hour (I suspect it may be more), and there's 2800
calories - or about 12 cliff bars - up in smoke (or, er, sweat).

Here's the thing: bike tourists are constantly on the move from town
to town. And we're cheap. We don't take the time to make fancy
breakfast sandwiches or smoothies, and we can't carry bowls of pasta
in our panniers (too messy! And heavy!). Even if things such as clif
bars existed in this country, I'm not about to spend $20 per day on
snack food. Instead I've been going for foods with a high density of
calories per ounce and calories per dollar: cookies, cheese, and fish
& chips. (I can hear my nutritionist Grandma Ashlock rolling in her
grave.)

Sure, fish & chips don't pack well, but in the UK and New Zealand,
they're the ultimate in calories per dollar. Yesterday, upon arrival
in Haast - after checking in but before showering - I bought what must
have been about 1500 calories worth of fish & chips for three U.S.
dollars. The scary thing is that I was hungry again less than an hour
later (I had had a light lunch, so I was apparently in some severe
caloric deficit). When I did pick up dessert (ice cream and a tasty
soft drink) and food stores for the next day's ride, I managed to
inadvertantly consume most of those stores by the end of the night.
That is, a king-sized Snickers bar and 9 toffee cookies (I'm quickly
working through all of the varieties of biscuit in this country).

The shocking thing to me is that despite all of this gluttony is that
I'm pretty sure I've already lost a few pounds in my 10 days here. I
think it's time for me to start marketing my new fad diet!